LONG BEFORE

" I never left him, but I never tried to stop him too... He was going through a very hard time in his life... A very hard one... It wasn't easy for him, to let go things. He was in pain, I can't feel it, but can sense it..."

My mother died when I was 3. I only had my father and my grandfather as my family. I only spent 10 years of my life with my father. Then, I was sent to a boarding school in London and I only used to visit India once in a year, but unfortunately never met my father. He always used to lock himself in his room, He was depressed...

I last visited India 3 years back, during my grandfather's funeral and that was the first time in 12 years , I saw my father coming out of the room. The moment, he stepped out of the room, he fainted. We took to the hospital, He was detected with an early stag of Alzheimer... It wasn't easy for me to handle him, he was a stranger for me...

I cannot leave London, So I took him with me... My everyday routine was almost fixed, Home to University, University to Hospital... Sometimes, I really wanted to run from the situation. But, I can't . He was my responsibility...

It took him 12 years to apologise to me.

The moment he apologized, I was shocked. The whole night, I was trying really hard to remember those 10 years that I spent with him... But I failed!! No memories!!

And One day, he holded me a letter, asking me to spend time with him. He said "There's no hope for me to stay alive, but I wanted to create one, I want you back, my daughter ".

I wasn't sure how to respond...

I asked him, " how can I help you to get better..."
He narrated me his plan to explore Europe in a 23 day trip. Our last destination would be Spain.

I thought ,might be that were going to be our last moments together, at least I'll remember those moments for life...

We first went to Dublin from London via Train. We almost spend a day there, visiting a lot libraries there.

Next we headed to Iceland, Norway, Sweden via Cruise. He told me, that cruise journeys were his favorites. I was in the Baltic sea for the first time. It was a 3 days journey. Every Time when the crusie used to take a break, we used to go and explore nearby islands.

I still have flashes of those days, He was really happy, so do I . I wanted to ask him, why he locked himself for 12 years, but I was afraid to ruin his good mood.

From Sweden, we went to Paris. Paris wasn't new to me, I have visited this place earlier also. I literally love the atmosphere of this City. So bright and loud!!

Our next destination was Milan and Venice in Italy, we were there for 3 days. Italian wines are best.

Our last stop for the trip was Madrid, Spain. It was August, festive month of the country, Tomatina was going on. We had a great time there , in the fest. We stayed there for about a week. It was majestic.

I lived my passed 12 years in those 23 days with him. 

Now, it's been 3 years from that trip. Every Single memory is so fresh for me. But, he had no memories.

Maybe he already knew that he'll forgetting everything soon, but he wanted to make memories for me...

He has no time now,
He has no memory now,
But, I have lot of questions...
Unanswered!!

I once again wanted to live those moments. But , I can't

Earlier, He used to be a stranger for me...
And now, I'm a stranger to him...

That's the irony...
And the tragedy!!