LONG LIVED PHANTOM

When I was a kid, I think I was more cynical. I used feel that the world is driven by being selfish. And for me money was everything. I always wanted to be in that profession that will make me earn more. But things have changed now. Compelled won't be a right word, but I think I'm kind of attracted towards the enlightenment of this world. I really wanna go out and work for humanity more and Money less. I guess, Americans shows and foreign books have to do with this change a lot. I remember watching Iron Man 3 for the first time in my life this year, and I knew what I have to do next in my life. I wanted to be a neuroscientist. Working on all the aspects of human brain and synapses and psychology and every last n single thing that's there. And it's not a reality atleast for now, but I guess this is something that excites me the most.  Books have really helped me to heal, to stabilize my mind, to stabilize my thoughts and most importantly to look into future with...

Lately, I was talking to one of my friends about the way our past can hurt and about erasing the awful memories. And during that conversation, I found a different kind of analogy w.r.t awful memories of past. So, consider 'Time' as a 'River' and the 'Awful Experiences' as 'Debris' with different densities (i.e. intensity). We all know that the river flow is immortal; its flow ultimately is inevitable. The pace with which it is flowing doesn't matter. So, it just keeps going on. In the same way, time also keeps moving. And some debris gets accumulated during its flow. But, that doesn't affect the flow of the river. They eventually get sedimented or piled up beneath the river according to their densities. And as the river water flows, it sometimes doesn't take that debris along. It just leaves the debris to that exact place where it first got into the river. But still, the debris remains a part of that river until that river gets evolve...

Evolution. One of my favorite subjects from biology. Evolution is important for the continuity of life under adverse conditions. It helps to become a better version of ourselves.  But, there is this one question that I want to ask everyone, What do you think how many years we'll take to become better versions of ourselves?? Evolution not necessarily in the form of gaining or losing one or the other organ system to be efficient. But, I'm talking about evolution at psychological levels.  Let me assure you, Yes! we humans are definitely evolving; we are losing our sanity every day; we are devastating ourselves every day. We are depressed souls now, bruised from inside. No medicine can treat us anymore. We are becoming a puppy of techs at the cost of our own mental health. For all the incredible technological advancements in science, we've all been party to. Yet, there is no happiness that techs could bring in our lives anymore. We spend our days and nights and every secon...

The Satin and The Silk are wrapped around my body, But still, I'm feeling the cold... Everything around me is changing, I see through the glass over the window... The sun is drowning, Making the world around me darker... The sky is losing it's hope, But still, the stars are twinkling, like little roars... And I know, everything's not over yet... And above the ground, I can see, How the moon is evolving... From a night ball to magical infinity, It's illuminating the world that I saw once was falling... I'm still wearing the satin and the silk  It's not warming, But, I don't feel the cold anymore And now I realize that it's only in the blackest of nights that we can truly see the light Things around me are once again changing, I can see the icy storm hunting It's concealing my vision through the windows, I'm afraid I can't see anymore But, everything's not over yet... One f...

What if one day you wake up and it's a very normal day. The sun is in the same position as it was when you were first born. Your cat is eating the same food which she used to when she first got her teeth. But, there is something not normal on that day. A wave of guilt is running through your nerves, reaching every part of the body, weakening it, dampening your sanity. A mistake you committed 15 years ago. Why is this happening?? And What is happening?? You now know what it is for. And now, you are ready to make corrections to redeem yourself. But, it's not easy. So, you decide to travel back, to resolve things. But in doing so, you changed the future. You made it, worse than ever and even you are not a part of it now. What will you do next??  To Stop is not the solution; To Run is not easy. So, how are you supposed to make things right?? Witness the journey of Rick Hardy, a professional football player. Life's being amazing for him. But, not anymore. "REWRIT...

So, today as soon as I woke up, I was scrolling through the screen of my phone and the very first thing that I came across was very intimidating. No, it's not about some terror attack in the world or epidemic but it's about how a woman treats other women over the type of cloth she wore. It is indeed as bad as an epidemic. So, there was this video going viral across the internet where a woman, who seems to be 40+, she was asking strange men across the street to rape women who wear short clothes, because she thinks those short clothes are meant to attract men to rape women. This woman is definitely a psych patient and she should be in some mental hospital for the sake of humanity. Evoking men to do such a thing is hell. And a woman asking this is even more devastating. There was a group of girls who saw this happening and they went to this lady asking her to apologize for the things that she said, and the woman was proudly standing, not ashamed. I think she must be educat...

Yesterday when I was having lunch with my mother and we were just having a normal conversation about a pen, which was gifted by someone lately. And there were two same pens in the box. So, I took the first pen as soon as I looked at it and I left the other pen for my mother. But while I working in her room, I realized that forget to bring my pen and I thought it's better to take her pen and I'll return it afterwards ( Heights of Procrastination. ONM!! ) After I got done with my work, I unintentionally took her pen with my books in my room. So, now I have two same looking pens in my room. The one that belongs to me was lying on the bed and the other was there on my study table. And during lunch, she saw the pen on bed and she said, "You took my pen again" . I was sitting on the bed while having the lunch and she was on the chair besides the study table and the pen that belongs to her was on the table. It was so near to her but she couldn't see it because the...

Oh yes!! You heard me right! Pain is scary, It's the last emotion we wanted to crave for. But, it's not the end of the world. Right?? A lot times people talk about being scared of death. But, I think it's not something we should be scared of. It's a life process. We have life spans. Even 'ocean quahog' (a specie of edible calm) too had a life span, it's 507 years. We humans of- course don't have a life span like this long, and it's for a reason. Humans are less constructive minded and more destructive ones. So, one thing can exist at a time; either humans for 507 years or Earth?? Saving Earth is better. The pain of losing people is normal. It's human. But, what scares me more is that feeling of uselessness, when I won't be able to do anything. That is the nightmare. I was watching this Arrowverse show lately ( I'm obsessed with them currently ). So, the protagonist, who saves the world from evils , was unable to save the ma...

Jennifer Carter is the writer of the best selling trilogy "Despair" , before writing the third part of the book, she decides to do some investigations about the ancient devastated culture of the country, and during the investigation; She comes across a huge and fat book which was extremely vintage . The book was based on an empire that's nowhere to be found in any history that she ever read. She wasn't sure if the empire was a fantasy. The story, the people seems very real. The voice, who narrates the words of the princess "Kristen" is very sharp and bold and very real , and at the same time very sad. As she starts to read the book, the world of the book comes to life. She now is the princess of the kingdom named 'Melbort' and the story starts with her wedding day, she's in a beautiful white outfit for the wedding and the next moment, she's naked in front of her husband, prince "Jacob". The story further wants them to be intimat...

Life is indeed a roller coaster. You never know in which direction you'll be adrifted next, with what angle and intensity.  You can never anticipate what will you see next, good or bad?  And sometimes it's good to not know, how our tomorrow will look or if it's intact or not?? Breath in this air, right now, right here; because the only truth is the time you are in right now; To day. Today, who we are; where we are; and what we are!! Is all that matters. Why on earth , you wanted to apprehend yourself in the hands of tomorrow's happenings. You have this moment right now on this universe. This cosmic energy is for you. Embrace it!!! Stop being the puppet of Space and Time. It's okay to not consider time as the fourth dimension of space. The one that has gone was indeed a fact, that had been manifested and that can't be changed. Likewise, what you'll do today is going to be some unchangable fact for tomorrow. So, it's better fo...

The world isn't optimistic anymore. People all across the world are fighting anxiety/depression/ schizophrenia and etc. According to the latest data, there are 300 million people in the world suffering from one or the other mental health related disorder. And It shouldn't be shocking to learn that India is the most depressed nation in the world. There are so many reasons causing mental disorder like your professional life or personal life, any incidence from the past, an accident or it's just a choice out of nowhere. And the reason we are enable to tackle this problem is because we avoid to talk about it with others and most importantly with ourselves. That's why self awareness is very important. There are of course people who don't even know what they are going through. Because in reality, their knowledge about their own self is so little.  It's just like an unidentified/ unrecognized parasite blooming inside, choking us, devastating us. People who l...

The world is becoming dimensionless now. People are no more scared of the society. They are abolishing the non-sense norms laid by the society, the ones that boycotted them from doing a lot of things, that they always wanted to. Earlier, the society and our families used to categories us into certain positions and we were taught to follow the rules and to not cross the walls and to not look out of the box. And that used to create a chaos between our minds and desires and often, resulted into disrupted lives and disturbed lifestyles. But, now people are becoming considerate towards their passions, and not towards the society's acknowledgements. A lot of change is seen in recent years, at the career fronts, or about gender equality, talking freely about LGBT's , and etc. People have now started to explore their inner selves, especially what makes them happy. People are becoming more mature towards taking decisions and responsibilities. It's a new era of change....

Recently, somebody made me realize that February and March are sort of my depressing months. For people who are depressed, fighting anxiety because of career's ups and downs, educational fluxes, abandoned in the field of social communications.  I want you to hear this, you are really lucky cos you have a home, a family, a bunch of good friends (Perhaps not many, but certainly that much, who are concerned about you). You have a home, you always wanna run to... A Family, who can't stop loving you, no matter who you are... Friends, who are always cheering you... Don't let them down, not even for a single minute. You are definitely a good person, that's why people are there to love you, care about you. Whatever is stopping you, don't let it overshadow your loved ones love and hope. All your dark nights have been captured by the walls of your house, by the eyes of your friends and hearts of your family. Likewise, all your lucky days hav...

Hey Guys, So, you already got the idea of what I'm gonna talk about in this post by looking at the title (of-course 😊 ) . So, I've already instilled this idea a year before, and I'm really happy with it. I'm watching an American Series now these days ( It's based on DC Comic and I'm not gonna reveal the name but, I'm really obsessed with it ). So, the protagonist of the show recently realized the power of forgiveness and that reminded me about the same feeling that I experienced a year ago.    Forgiveness is one of the keys to your happiness. It can be about "Forgiving yourself " for anything that you have done to yourself , like harmed yourself ; OR "Forgiving others" for creating horrendous in your life. Because I feel, "GRUDGE" is an extremely negative and unhealthy emotion and If you are holding it inside yourself , it's definitely not gonna do any good to you and indeed, gonna create negativity insid...

Hey, Guys This is something really random that I'm gonna talk about right now. This idea just came right now, and I thought let's write it. So, I'm gonna talk about this idea of "The happiness of always being busy". It's definitely one of the greatest things that I have heard recently after learning that "Impossible is just nothing" ( which I've already talked about in my previous essay "THE QUEST TO THE PURPOSE"   http://vinnieishere.blogspot.com/2019/02/the-quest-to-purpose_5.html  ) So, procrastination is the biggest evil one faces every morning while getting up, leaving the cozy bed and going out in the chill morning instead of having a great sleep. And believe me, morning naps are amazing and especially after listening to your alarm and setting it on the snooze mode, so that when it rings again , you gonna put it off again. So, have you ever given a thought on why you actually procrastinate?? Well, you might have ...

Life is like a "jigsaw puzzle" , you have some missing pieces already in your hands like congenital and then, you really need to work hard to find others to compete the purpose of your life. You feel relaxed and happy when, the missing pieces are already there in your hands . You feel life is worth living/ having. But, when you don't have the missing piece and you are asked to work, to find it , you suddenly start feeling the burdens of life. Every act, every experience of your life is meant to find the missing piece like "The Quest". And sometimes, we even make mistake while finding the right one, like a  mirage , which seems real but once you reach there, it's gone. Likewise, some pieces looks exactly the same like the missing ones , but they are not. And that's called the nature's way of cheating. U know when people say, "This man can't be this or that, it's impossible...". But, I think "Impossible" ...

People, they hurt me, they're trying to kill me, I'm seeing a dark shadow up everywhere... People, they're trying hard to push me, But, here I'm standing , not afraid of dying!! They say, I can't rise!! They say, I'm abandoned by my stitches!! But, I'm not, And I'll not let them decide it for me... People, they're throwing a million dozen hatred at me, I'm running to get myself out of their sins... People, they're trying hard to crush me, But, here I'm standing, not letting them hit me anymore... They say, I can't run!! They say, I'm abandoned by my stitches!! But, I'm not, And I'll not let them decide it for me... People, they ask me to bury my face, And now, I feel existence more compelled... People, they are dragging me to end, But, here I'm standing strong against their will... They say, I shouldn't live!! They say, I'm abandoned by my ...

I wonder, what's there in life that makes me feel still alive... I wonder, why I sob, when all I'm advised is to be a knight!! No matter , what I feel, I'm advised to not be tenuous... I'm bruised!! And they say, "Tonight, you heal!! " I'm bruised!! I'm weak!! I feel so tenuous!! I'm fragile, Imbibing no light And they say, "Tonight, you heal!!" No matter, how I feel, I'm not allowed to touch my stitches!! No matter, how hard the pain is, I'm not allowed to settle, to stop!! I'm bruised!! And they say, "Tonight, you heal!!" The air is getting colder, The sky is getting darker... My skin is bleeding... And I'm advised not to give up!! I'm not allowed to scream for mercy, I'm prohibited from awakening... I'm still bruised!! And now they yell, "Stop Exaggerating!!"

HOW EMPTY MY HEART FEELS, ONCE CRAVED FOR SOMETHING DIVINE THE WALLS HAVE ALMOST COLLAPSED NOW THE BLOOD ISN'T SEEING A WAY TO FLOW, IT'S STILL!! IT'S CRAVING FOR A MOTION!! IT'S DEGRADING!! IT SMELLS LIKE A ROTTEN MEAT!! IT'S TERRIBLE!! What's this craving all about?? Money / Love / Good Food / A Trip once in a year and many more, I see. Can you differentiate between falling in love and being in love OR you consider it the same thing?? Huh?? I consider and I see myself falling in love so many times, sometimes it's about a particular character in a film or book / a personality in a real life or maybe a piece of work. I write stories and leaves them in between and then, starts working for something else and then leaves that too in between. Then, I feel like resuming the first work . Like, I'm falling for it again. Yeah!!  But, being in love requires "Devotion" , it requires "Commitment" and it require...

        We have seen people advising others that "Don't get satisfied with whatever you have right now, because then you'll stop working for tomorrow, to achieve more better." Well, This is really hard because I partially agree with this too .  But, I feel you definitely should acknowledge your work, your progress and your success. And for me, being satisfied with your current ( organic ) situation is same like a step forward to reward or acknowledge your success. And that's very important because if u'll not respect your earnings , the motive is useless. But, if we'll be satisfied with it, then will turn it as our comfort zone and we'll not push ourselves further to do more.  For that you need to trust the process because I feel no matter how much we put our efforts in our work, we never get the whole 100% desired success in it. You'll always find a deficit in it and that's the driving force. That's how nature work...